Episode 10: Breaking Free from Negative Thinking
Breaking Free from Negative Thinking Through God’s Unconditional Love | FOUND & REFINED Podcast
In this episode of the FOUND & REFINED podcast, host Amy LeSage shares her profound journey of accepting the love of Jesus Christ and its transformative impact on her life. Amy discusses the challenges of understanding and embracing the magnitude of Jesus' sacrifice, especially in the context of personal struggles and negative self-talk. She emphasizes the importance of resisting the devil's lies by grounding one's self-worth in God's love, highlighting the significant changes this mindset shift has brought to her life. Amy also reflects on the role of Christian artists and the power of music in her spiritual journey. She encourages listeners to fight back against negativity, seek their worth in divine love, and to share this message of hope with others in need.
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00:00 Introduction and Welcome
00:11 Understanding Jesus' Sacrifice
01:30 Personal Struggles and Acceptance
02:13 Fighting Negative Thoughts
07:30 The Power of Music and Acceptance
14:31 Rebuilding Confidence and Self-Worth
15:38 Questions for Self-Reflection
16:43 Resisting Lies and Embracing God's Love
27:14 Encouragement and Community
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🎵 Check out these songs
➺ “i was lost” - abenezer feat. Tundra Sundin
➺ “All That I Need” - Maverick City Music, Dante Bowe & GRAHAM
➺ “Hallelujah In The Hard Things” - Bryan & Katie Torwalt
➺ “Watch Your Mouth” - Josiah Queeen
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TRANSCRIPT - EP. 10
Hello friends. Thank you so much for being here. Welcome to the FOUND & REFINED podcast. I am your host, Amy LeSage and we are going to dive right in.
So, what I wanna tell you first and foremost is that I seriously feel like
Accepting what it means for Jesus to die on the cross, accepting that type of love. Really thinking about. What would it mean for somebody to do that, to put themselves out there to make that type of sacrifice for me? I'm trying to really think about it personally because I want the personal connection to it. Like, what if that happened yesterday? What if that happened last week? How would I feel about that? Sometimes the time in between the distance and the time in between of, an event happening, you still can believe that it happened, but maybe, the feeling is different than if you actually were there experiencing it.
So, I had to like imagine myself there, um, to really understand the magnitude of what that would mean about how much someone would love me to do that for me. And so, I've really been accepting that because that's the whole point, right? I think that's where this journey kind of needed to start.
That's the baseline, that's the foundation. That's how everything else kind of falls into place. And I feel like I've accepted that wholeheartedly and I am fulfilled. And I was talking about that last episode, like it's just the best thing ever. But it really changes so many things from that point on.
It has changed so much in my life. And so I just wanted to be clear because I was confused how to accept it before.
I couldn't accept the, the magnitude of that amount of love towards me because I was so broken. I was so broken by the world. But I've been making such a conscious effort to fight back, to seriously fight back. Um, to fight the devil,
to be honest. I've been making a conscious effort to fight the devil. And I feel it working. I really feel it working. I feel like that was like a piece that was missing. I was telling the devil to to be gone. I was praying to God to help me get past these negative thoughts to help me get on the other side of this.
But when I started participating in it, when I started putting the word up against him, when I started really in my head being like, that's not God speaking. That's not true. That's not true. All these things that I'm hearing and that are on replay in my mind, and that hurt me and that break me down and have some sort of awful power over me - are lies!
They're not true, and I'm not gonna listen to 'em anymore. I'm done with that crap. I really have been like. No! No. I'm, I'm, I'm resisting this. And I'm seeing a change, like I'm feeling a, I'm feeling a big change, even bigger than I had two years ago and last year. This one's bigger, this one's more powerful, and I really feel like it took me doing all three things.
Finding my worth. Not even, that's not even three things. That's actually way more than three things. I just wanna tell you guys everything so that you never have to go through this horrible mess or so that you can come out of a horrible mess.
I like seriously don't want anyone to have to. Try and figure this out for two years. I wanna help you. I'm sorry. I wanna give you all of the things that I'm probably giving 'em to you so unorganized in such a disorganized fashion that you, maybe I'm not even helping. So, I hope that's not the case, and I'm gonna pray that the Holy Spirit speaks to you and reorganizes it and makes it sound really super beautiful and wrapped up in like a pretty bow by the end of this conversation.
If I'm not fully capable of doing that myself. I'm gonna pray that he does that for me. Because he can!
So here was the breakdown, it took fully understanding his love for me and what that actually means. Not just saying, yes, I believe he died on the cross for me, but actually saying, I accept that gift. I am sad that that's how it had to happen, but I can finally say I am so thankful that he did it. Because I’m not God. And I never could have done that for myself. And I think maybe sometimes I got to a point of living where I had to do a lot of stuff on my own. I had to figure a lot of stuff out on my own. Um, I had to survive. And he, yes, he helped me through that, but like just the mind frame that I've had to have for quite some time of survival.
I I've just been thinking a lot about the process of resisting negative self-talk, honestly, like, which means resisting the devil. I've been really focused on that. The Bible tells us, resist the devil and he will flee from you.
I've been reflecting on my own role in that battle. What's my responsibility? And I'll be honest; I I used to be super strong-willed. And not to say that I'm not now, but I became very weak. Life happened
and that confidence and strong will, just changed difficult seasons like my divorce, really shook me and left me doubting myself a lot. But as I look back, was doubting myself. Prior to my divorce, I was struggling with my confidence before all of that happened, like in high school and through college and things like that.
The enemy, like I've said in the past, like the enemy finds ways to press even harder on those wounds. He's so crafty. He's so sneaky. He targets your sore spots where you are struggling and you're hurting,
and he piles more stuff on there, making it grow until it kind of overshadows who you actually were made to be. His goal, the devil's goal, for us is to feel alone, unworthy, useless, like that's a success for him. He feels successful when you feel that way. That's a win for the devil. And it's just sick.
It's sick. It's horrible. But this is the world we live in and we can't deny that there is a battle for your, for your mind, constantly between good and evil. It's constant. I can't push that enough because it's really real.
So, the question is like, how do we fight back? And here's what I keep coming back to. Our sense of worth must come from what Jesus did for us.
Not from anything else that people do, say, anything that we have, none of that. None of that matters.
There's this song, by Josiah Queen called "Watch Your Mouth." And it came to me at like the perfect time within this past week, week and a half. And he says in there. ' So why would you live life like you weren't worth me dying for?
Watch your mouth.' Watch what you say to yourself. Watch what you think about yourself. He has scars on his hands to prove. How much he loves you, how worth it you were to die for. So why are you acting like that doesn't matter. Why are you acting like someone dying for you isn't enough? It's the ultimate sacrifice.
It's absolutely enough. It's accepting it. It can be hard if you don't feel worthy of that type of love, and that's the tricky part. That's the part that I struggled with, and I think I just had to keep telling myself, this isn't something that I could ever do for myself. I don't get the gift unless I accept it from the giver. I can never get a gift like this from anyone else ever. It will never come again. It is there. It was done for me, and I have to accept it for everything that it is and let that fulfill me. Because it's so much, it was almost so much. I didn't know what to do with it.
I didn't think I was worthy of it, and I didn't know how to accept that type of love, and so I really had to push myself by saying. He did this for you, specifically, for you. What if it was done yesterday? Would it make you feel differently? Sometimes that distance between when Jesus died and that we didn't actually physically see it and experience it.
Can take some of the feeling out of it. When I really pushed myself to connect the feeling with the action, so there was a full acceptance of what would it feel like, for him to have gone through that type of a death or that type of a sacrifice
for me? It just. Gears started turning and my heart started changing, I wanted to accept it. I didn't wanna resist that anymore. And once I started to really feel what that type of love feels like, because it's real and he really did do it for you, I'm not tricking myself.
I just really needed to go back to that moment
and feel it. It was almost like the belief needed to match a feeling so it could just like burn in my soul and in my heart, and so I could really feel what that type of love means. And it's changed my life, you guys. It's changed my life! It takes work to do that. It does. It is like totally worth it though.
That's how you start fighting back. You realize, I am so loved
I can't hear those negative thoughts anymore. It goes against everything I'm working towards. And then the resistance can start actually really happening.
If Jesus were standing in front of me, I would never want him to feel like I didn't fully appreciate and accept and understand what he went through for me.
I would never want that. So, I really had to figure out how can my brain, with still kind of struggling with worth and things like that, and how can my brain work on accepting this 'cause this feels like a big chunk piece that’s completely missing. This feels like if I can get this right, I feel like I'm gonna see a lot more things line up properly. And I did.
And just like worldly things have just come down, like big, huge towers of things have just crumbled. It's like God, like wiped that stuff out in my mind, but I had to believe and understand and accept the gift of his love for me so that I could start combating some of the things that were going on because they were going against what I knew God says about me. Does that make sense? I hope that makes sense. And then meeting it with the word resist the devil. Okay. It, it says it in the word, resist the devil. So, you have to be an active part in that.
Even if it's crying out and saying, Jesus, please help me. That's enough. Like there are times where I was so low I couldn't do any more than say his name, , but he hears you. He hears you. He comes to that. He saves you in those moments.
That song by Josiah Queen really made it click for me. But I'm super connected to music and just, I get so much out of it. Like I've told you guys, I get so much out of it, but it just really was like, dang. It's true. Like he's got scars in his hands. He's got all these things that have happened to him.
And if he was standing in front of me and I was like, I just can't accept that you would love me this much. Like, what more does the man have to do? What more does he have to do to show you that he loves you so much? It's the most he could ever do, and it was painful. And so, to not accept it,
I’m sure is like disappointing, heartbreaking.
For those of you that are hurting, we need to see ourselves the way God sees us. It's so, so, so important that you lean into that, entirely.
And I'm really thankful for Christian artists who are walking out their calling and inspiring others. Like, singers, songwriters, preachers, all of the people that are doing their work and their calling to help us get through this. God is working through all of us in different ways.
He's using our gifts that He's given each of us to fulfill his plan and encourage others. He's given every single one of us a gift. And sometimes you need to reach out to him to find out what that gift is. Sometimes it's super obvious what God's telling you to do.
Other times you have to work through like, what is my gift? I thought mine was furniture refinishing. He had a bigger plan, if this is truly what it, is, he has a different plan for me, a bigger plan for me outside of furniture refinishing. in someone's home by myself. You know,
I'm in a season, right now, I'm in a season of rebuilding my confidence and I really wanna build it in a strong way so I don't have to end up here again because I don't want to keep coming back and trying over and over. I want this one to stick. I know the things that have hurt my confidence. I know the things that have pushed on my sore spots where the devil has continued to like lean into those. I know
a lot of the things that have made me doubt myself. And I'm sure you can say the same. We all know those things. We can probably name those off, rattle those off, , and continue thinking about those things for , as long , as we have a stage for it, but by focusing on those things, it will keep us stuck.
We all know the sources of our pain, the challenges to move beyond
those things. Here's a few questions that I've been asking myself, and I wrote these down. Who am I listening to? Who am I allowing to steal my joy? When did I start doubting what God says about me? I think the first two are the most important. Who am I listening to?
Who am I allowing to steal my joy?
There has to come a point you guy, where you stand up to it and you say, no more. I'm not listening to this anymore. I will not let the devil continue to press into this wound. I will not continue, to believe this about myself. I know that God loves me so much, so He can't feel this way about me.
The devil is stealing your joy with lies. You have to resist by telling him to leave, and by calling on God, also saying, “no!” I'm literally gonna push back. I'm not listening to that. You can go; you can leave in the name of Jesus.
You can go, Lord God, help me with this thought. I am not listening to that anymore.
Here's what I know for sure. When you begin to see yourself the way God sees you. When you really let his love in and permeate through your body and, just let it soak in to your being - something changes. I can only speak from my own experience, and I am so adamant at like, I know for a fact change happens because I'm experiencing it.
It's almost like a shield goes up. Suddenly the negative thoughts lose their power. He's fighting. We're fighting. And the devil's not stronger than that. He just isn't. You might have to do it all the time. You might have to do it every minute at first.
You might have to do it every 10 minutes. You might have to do it every hour. You are probably gonna have to do it every day for a while. Don't get too comfortable. Be on guard, be aware, but when you get into the rhythm of it, it's, it's easier and easier to stand your ground.
It's not a one-time thing.
We have to tell the lies. I will not listen to this anymore. I do not believe that about myself. Fill in the blank. I am not x, I am not Y, I am not Z. I'm not the worst of whatever, whatever the thing is. I have value. I may have messed up in the past. I don't know your story, but I may have messed up in the past.
That doesn't define me. God has forgiven me. So that's gone. that is erased. That is not who I am moving forward right now in this moment today. So, I will not let that define me anymore.
If you've been hurt by someone. That said something about them that didn't say something about me. I will not let that define who I am because they hurt me, because they did something wrong. That's not for me to carry.
It doesn't say something about you. It says something about them that they need to work through. It has to only be God first.
And then the rest of the things can kind of, I don't even know. I'm not there yet. I can't even say what the rest of the things do because I'm, I'm not personally walked out. I'm at, no, I'm at step one. Step one is God is number one. God's view of me is number one and that's where I'm at. I'm accepting that and I'm living in that, and I'm seeing how it's changing my life, and my perspective, and how I live, in how I feel about myself, in how I love others, in how I treat other people, and how I treat myself and how I just view the world.
That's where I'm at. I can't say much more than what that is. I wish I could, but I can't. I will tell you as I learn. But I just really, there is so much. I don't want anyone to feel hopeless. Its life is not hopeless. You are not hopeless. There's so much out there for you.
It'll start opening up when you realize how loved you are. So loved, so cherished. What does it mean for someone to go to bat for you? For someone to stick up for you, for someone to do something at their expense for you. If someone does us a huge, big favor, pays a debt, gets us out of trouble, does something really big.
We're like so, so, so, so thankful and we feel so special.
We have to put ourselves back into biblical times for a second. If you're still, if it's not clicking. What does it mean for him to have done that, for Jesus to have done that for you?
How much does someone have to love you to do that for you? It's for you. It's individual personalized love.
Listen, I'm not saying it's easy. I know that it's hard when life isn't going well, I know that it's hard when you're up against a hardship. I know that it's hard when you just feel like you just got, like, KO knocked out. You're, you're out for the count. Your horrible things are happening around you. I know that's hard.
I know it is. I, I've gone through hard things, not the same as yours, but my own, and they've been hard.
I'm not making light of that. Life is hard. I know there's days when things feel hopeless and nothing seems to be changing. I know those days, those bad circumstances, don't say anything about the love that God has for you, because that never changes no matter what's going on around us,
his love for us never changes. As much as we mess up, he never changes how he feels about us and how much he loves us. That's what's so amazing about his love, because there's no person on this earth that could love us like that or fulfill us in that way. There's nothing.
That's what makes it so special.
We have to stop listening to the lies, even when they feel so real. The devil is a liar, and he is good at his job in that way. He keeps so many of us tangled up in negative thoughts.
But God is bigger, and stronger, and better, and mightier, and he's already won the battle against Satan. God can give you your strength to break free of all that nonsense, but you have to go to him. You have to do some of the legwork I am not saying you gotta do a ton of stuff.
Just call on him. Call out his name, reach for him.
Let what Jesus did on the cross define your worth and who you are.
It was the ultimate act of love. Sit with that for a little while, like seriously, sit with it for a bit.
The most mightiest, amazing, magnificent creator of the world, of the universe says, you are worth dying for.
That's big. That's huge.
If you're stuck in negativity, feeling like you're never gonna be free of it, you're never gonna break out of this, let me assure you, there is hope and yes you can. You absolutely can. I am living proof, and I will say this every single podcast
until you believe it and hear it, it can happen. You don't have to stay in this spot. This isn't the rest of your life. This isn't what it's supposed to be. I've tried everything, you guys. I tried medications, meditation, different types of distractions, buying things, people, I've tried everything.
To try to break out of the negative thought, to try to be free of it, to run away from it, to get a different feeling to whatever. None of it worked.
Once I accepted God's love, the healing started happening. I don't know how else to explain it, like it literally Erased some things completely, like next day gone. Things I was battling for years gone in an instant. There came a point where I was looking in my closet and I'm like, I don't even know how to get dressed.
I don't even know how to put an outfit together. Like he broke it. He broke that hold on me, that addiction. He broke it. I couldn't even put an outfit together. I've been doing that since I was a little girl. I was like, how do I not know how to dress myself? Like I accepted it. I was like, okay, this is part of the process.
But I was still like. Holy cow. This is crazy!
He pulled me out of the cycles, and he can do that for you. He will. He can. He's absolutely capable. You don't have to accept the lie that you are not worthy or any of the negative things that you're feeling. You don't have to accept that. You can say, no, I'm not gonna live this way anymore. It's miserable.
It's horrible. It's frantic. It's not even settling. It's unsettling it your body. I, I get it. I just wanna give you a word of hope because there is hope for something better. Way better. And I don't want you to be looking around like I was for just a, a quick fix because those are fleeting. They won't stick, they don't stay, they don't work.
It's not the thing that's gonna fix you or fix this, it's just not. You'll be back there again. If you don't go to the right place for your worth, specifically.
Just ask Jesus to help you. He hears you. He will come. He's right next to you watching and just waiting for you to call his name. He's giving you free will if you don't want to. He's giving you that free will to not, but when you decide, you do, he's right there. So he has never given up on you no matter how young, old, whatever your age, he's never given up on you.
How encouraging!
That's amazing. Thank God! I'm praying for you. I hope you feel seen. I hope you feel encouraged today. I hope there's a glimmer of hope. Life is hard for all of us. It is hard.
But hard things don't have to break us. So, you So you stay head up. Okay? Head up and focus on God. You can get through the hardest things with him and only him. The very hardest things can only be gotten through with him, in my opinion. There is no other way.
I'm here for you, you guys. Again, I want this to be an uplifting, positive, encouraging community, so I'm just praying that that is going to be built. So please pass this on if you think somebody needs to hear it or for whatever reason, if someone's name is coming up in your head, please send this to them for me, for God, please send this to them.
I wanna find my people. There are people who are hurting. I know I'm doing this for a reason. I don't know who they are. I don't know where they are, and I'm gonna need your help. So. If there's somebody that comes up, please, I encourage you to send this to them and please like, subscribe, all the things.
Alright, thanks so much. Bye.